Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Happy Birthday Jim!!!



For those of his loyal readers (either of you) not in the know, today is Jim’s birthday! I won’t reveal his age, but let’s just say he’s no longer in his “early” 40’s – roughly 6.3 dog years for the mathematicians in the crowd.

I don’t know what it is about Jim’s birth date that I find so difficult to remember. And it’s not like I don’t have a memory for numbers either – I can remember my dentist’s phone number for cryin’ out loud! Ever helpful, Jim once told me the easiest way to remember his birthday is that it’s the same date the Titanic sank and Lincoln was assassinated (though, as it turns out, those events occurred in completely different years). Perfect! Now that’s something I could remember. The next year when I couldn’t remember his birthday, I simply googled Titanic, only to learn that while it struck the iceberg on April 14th, it didn’t actually sink until the early hours of the 15th. Undaunted, I cross-referenced with Lincoln’s assassination and, you guessed it, dude was shot on the 14th and didn’t expire until the 15th. How freakin’ weird is that?! Apparently there’s a third indicator, but I couldn’t remember it then, and still can’t. Anyhow, I was a day late with Jim’s birthday wishes that year. I obviously finally have it straight (thanks to the birthday calendar hanging in our bathroom), but it was waaaay more complicated than it needed to be.

Jim would have you believe that my dysfunctional memory is a by-product of being kicked in the head by a mule at birth...in a manger no less. But since today isn’t about me, I’ll neither confirm nor deny. I prefer to deal in fact as opposed to rank speculation and/or outright fabrication anyway, so here’s a little tidbit that provides a glimpse into Jim’s “development”. In his younger days, Jim was an inquisitive lad, always eager to learn or try something new. One day, he wondered what would happen if he stuck his head in a bucket of swimming pool chlorine and inhaled deeply. It knocked him cold. He was only 36 years old at the time. Three years later, he emerged from the coma a changed man – the man we all know and love today. Happy Birthday, buddy!

1 comment:

Jim Schmaltz said...

Thanks Pete! You had me laughing out loud! FWIW, the other significant happening on April 14th is that the U.S. scored it's first air combat kill ever, in WWI. Now that's something most people could care less about (especially those non-U.S. residents) but dammit, it means something to me!

Oh, and I was only 12 when I sniffed the chlorine. But it did knock me out cold. Had a horrible headache when I woke up, too. I wasn't a very bright child.

Thanks for the B-day wishes, tell Joyce we said hello!